:with love and squalor

mediaite: Joe Biden responds to second-grader with personal,...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:53:50 -0400

Joe Biden responds to second-grader with personal, handwritten note.

unimpressed2chainz: gorgonetta: [Self-portraits by Carrie Mae...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:50:38 -0400

Carrie Mae Weems, self-portrait, Kitchen Table Series, 1990

Käthe Kollwitz, Self Portrait Drawing, 1933

Judy Baca, self portrait, 2009

Frida Kahlo, Self Portrait with Monkeys, 1943

unimpressed2chainz:

gorgonetta:

[Self-portraits by Carrie Mae Weems, Käthe Kollwitz, Judy Baca, and Frida Kahlo, text “Never apologize for selfies”]

I’m getting really excited planning my road trip! I really hope it works out. My roommate is...

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:38:31 -0400

I’m getting really excited planning my road trip! I really hope it works out. My roommate is pretty reliable so I think it really can. But we’re trying to find one or two more people to go with us so that we can split up the driving better because it’s going to be over 5,000 miles. I’ve been really wanting to visit the southwest for a while so I’m really excited planning out our route. I wish we had more time—I hope 10 days is long enough.

labelsandlogos: Mad Men: Then and Now

Sun, 19 May 2013 18:19:01 -0400

labelsandlogos:

Mad Men: Then and Now

:with love and squalor: Why I'm not attending my masters graduation

Sun, 19 May 2013 16:10:00 -0400

:with love and squalor: Why I'm not attending my masters graduation:

benotprouddeath:

fornoesis:

I’m supposed to graduate from Johns Hopkins this Thursday (does it count as my graduation even if I’m not going?). I’m not going. There are a number of reasons for this, though I kind of regret not registering. Yes, I am still getting my diploma from Hopkins with a 4.0 GPA and my graduate degree…

Am I the only one who doesn’t actually see the ‘why’ in this post.

Perhaps it could’ve been more explicit, though I think I clearly state it several times—it was a crappy program and I felt bad while doing it, and the idea of celebrating it after feeling like it was a joke program that required little to no actual effort on behalf of its students seems hypocritical to me. That’s the “why.” Oh, and that it seems like even more of a charade when juxtaposed with my experiences graduating from my undergraduate program, which was basically the opposite of Hopkins, and required work, dedication, passion, and most importantly, personal and professional growth and development. Graduating from a program like that is worth celebrating. Graduating from one that gives you a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything to you isn’t. In my opinion.

Why I'm not attending my masters graduation

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:58:43 -0400

I’m supposed to graduate from Johns Hopkins this Thursday (does it count as my graduation even if I’m not going?). I’m not going. There are a number of reasons for this, though I kind of regret not registering. Yes, I am still getting my diploma from Hopkins with a 4.0 GPA and my graduate degree in Urban Education. But I’ve had serious issues with the entire masters process since I started my coursework. Essentially, I didn’t work that hard. Not as hard as I would’ve liked. School work, academia, and intellectual stimulation are some of the only things in my life that have really brought me joy and illumination throughout my entire life, and having known what it was like to graduate from a school that I LOVED, that meant everything to me, the idea of sitting through a ceremony at a school I didn’t even particularly like seemed hypocritical to me. Frankly, since most my friends in the program seemed to feel the same way about it, I was surprised to figure out that I seem to be the only one not going. The program didn’t mean that much while I was doing it—I’m not going to pretend it does now.

I delivered my class’s undergraduate commencement address. I walked across that stage in front of all the people who loved me in the world (almost) and the idea of stumbling along it in robes of an unfamiliar color after listening to an irrelevant address by someone else to get a sheet of a paper that, while prestigious, doesn’t mean anything compared to one I already have, seemed silly. I spoke to my undergraduate advisor about it a few days ago and he asked me if I thought I’d look back on this and regret the choice not go, and I said no, and we both laughed. Basically, the only thing I’ll miss is the requisite instagram picture of me in another robe.

My time in TFA and at Hopkins has definitely solidified one idea for me—right along with our PK-12 education reform, we need higher ed reform just as badly. I hope to walk across a stage again in a number of years to get my ph.d, after faithfully working towards that goal.

happyheidegger: the most shocking thing i’ve ever seen in my...

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:46:50 -0400

happyheidegger:

the most shocking thing i’ve ever seen in my whole life! i love it :)

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 12:28:01 -0400

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:53:45 -0400

My roommate and I are planning a road trip in June, when I’m finished teaching for the year...

Sat, 18 May 2013 12:40:20 -0400

My roommate and I are planning a road trip in June, when I’m finished teaching for the year and before she starts her BCTR training. The route probably looks a bit circuitous, but it’s intentionally planned—originally, we were just going to New Orleans, the reason being that there is a likelihood I will be moving there in the relatively near future, and I’ve never been there. But then I figured we might as well go all out, and neither of us has been to the Grand Canyon. Yes, I’ve seen the deserts of Jordan, Israel, and Egypt, but I’ve never seen a US desert. So we’re heading out that way, and stopping in Houston to stay with a friend. Then we’re going back up through Ohio from the GC to visit her parents at their new house (they just moved last week) and then back to Baltimore. It’ll be a lot of driving but she has a new car with good gas mileage and I am pretty confident we can do it. If I skip my last PD day (a Monday, of course) we’ll have at least 10 days for the trip. Exciting!

ohjeffreyno: Engraved Zippo lighters from the Vietnam War....

Sat, 18 May 2013 10:59:04 -0400

ohjeffreyno:

Engraved Zippo lighters from the Vietnam War. From Cowan’s Auctions

I haven’t been posting lately because I’ve been too busy rereading my entire tumblr...

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:19:29 -0400

I haven’t been posting lately because I’ve been too busy rereading my entire tumblr (yes, all 100+ pages of it) in some effort to find direction for my life. I think I thought if I went back far enough, the way I feel now might start to make sense to me. So here’s what I’ve come to understand:

1. I used to post a LOT more. Starting around the time of my graduation to last summer (one year) I posted about 80 pages worth of tumblr garbage, and for this school year (another year) I’ve posted less than 20. The quality of the posts changed too. I used to post poetry, pictures of myself, personal stories that had nothing to do with my job, and reblogged completely non-education related stuff every day. I barely ever do that anymore, and that’s because this job has taken EVERYTHING from me. All I am now is a teacher. You can see it on facebook, too. I used to post political stuff, lyrics, young-people-stuff. Now it’s ALL teacher stuff. Pictures of me teaching, student work, status updates about work, work, work. I am obsessed with my job. My entire identity has become about teaching. It’s all I want to talk about. It’s most of what I think about. It’s just what I am.

2. I used to care more. Sorry, but I did. I used to care a lot, a LOT, more, about everything. My friends, my romantic relationships, petty drama, not petty drama, my students, my coworkers, other people’s opinions of me, everything. Which leads me to point 3:

3. Something bad happened to me. Reading my tumblr from start to finish is like watching myself falling off a 20 story building in slow motion. I was so depressed last year that it’s actually a wonder I survived. TFA was not good for my mental health, though it’s shown me how extremely strong of a person I am (or have become). I had to grow up, FAST, to adjust to my job and the responsibility I had undertaken.

4. I’m not that much better now. Though I am better, there’s still something wrong. Like I said, I don’t care as much about anything. Maybe it’s a good thing, but I’ve gotten numb. Things that used to make me cry myself to sleep at night literally don’t even cause me to bat an eye anymore—and it’s not because I’m more well grounded or stable. It’s because I’m hard. I’m not saying it to sound cool or make myself feel better. I am hard now in a way that not everyone can be. This experience changed the constitution of my character.

5. I haven’t clicked with my class this year the way I did last year and it’s a real shame. This is incredibly apparent from reading the loving, sprawling posts I used to write about my former students. Part of the reason for that is the transience of my class this year—I’ve had 15 students in and out of a 21 student class. That’s insane. It’s one of the things that’s hardened me to my students, that’s for sure.

6. One thread that is consistently woven throughout all my posts, even the ones from when I was still in college, is loneliness. I am a very lonely person and I have been for longer than I’d even realized.

7. I’ve put in a legitimate effort and commitment toward being Miss A. I think I might be ready to going back to just being Allegra, at least for a little while.

8. I have no idea what I want to do next year. Sometimes I want to stay teaching pre-k at my school. Sometimes I want to teach art at my school. Sometimes I want to stay teaching forever, other times I never want to set foot in a classroom again. All I know for sure is that understanding this experience, and everything I’ve been through during my tenure in TFA, is going to be incredibly difficult, painful, and long lasting. Reconciling and comprehending the ways I’ve changed and my life has changed since I graduated college two years and one day ago is going to become my full time job.

"Ms. A, you got some Old Bay in you. You just been tryna sour it with all that lemon juice."

Tue, 14 May 2013 22:02:00 -0400

baltimore knows

softerworld: A Softer World: 765 (A cautionary tale, but at...

Tue, 14 May 2013 20:22:35 -0400

softerworld:

A Softer World: 765

(A cautionary tale, but at least it was X rated.)

thepeoplesrecord: On May 13, 1985, Philadelphia police...

Mon, 13 May 2013 17:23:10 -0400

thepeoplesrecord:

On May 13, 1985, Philadelphia police dropped explosives containing C-4 on the roof of a house where members of the black liberation & social justice organization MOVE lived. Right before, police attacked the house with 10,000 rounds of ammunition in 90 minutes, knowing that children were inside. The house burned for 45 minutes before hoses were turned on.

Eleven people, including founder John Africa, five adults & five children were killed. The incident also destroyed 65 homes in the area, leaving 250 homeless. Witnesses reported police officers shooting at those trying to escape from the fire that ensued.

MOVE continues to advocate for prisoners’ rights & for the release of Mumia Abu-Jamal & nine MOVE members who were found guilty of the murder of a police officer in 1978.

Highly recommend The MOVE Crisis in Philadelphia: Extremist Groups and Conflict Resolution by Hizkias Assefa for anyone interested in learning more about this.

amprog: FYI: The President has proposed $75B to fund high...

Sat, 11 May 2013 10:36:00 -0400

amprog:

FYI: The President has proposed $75B to fund high quality early education.

It’s weird to feel important sometimes

In perhaps the only display of appreciation/approval she's ever given me, my assistant principal put her son in my class for the day.

Fri, 10 May 2013 15:29:43 -0400

Did I win the teacher lottery, or lose it?

Photo

Thu, 09 May 2013 21:33:29 -0400

asgardreid: I really needed that.

Thu, 09 May 2013 21:13:04 -0400

asgardreid:

I really needed that.

20 years of schooling and they put you on the day shift

Thu, 09 May 2013 19:33:52 -0400

I am officially done with my master’s degree!